I actually wrote this song as a Christmas song for the Church I was Worship pastoring. One of the lead Pastors told me he really felt that God had much more for the song and it would go far beyond the Christmas service. He was right! As God was stirring my heart for the CD, He continued to speak and encourage me about His light shining through His Bride, the Church, and bringing light into the darkness of our lives and this world! The Chorus soon came and the Bridge also came through a devotional time just prior to recording the final version! God continues to shine His light and reveal His purposes, not only for me and this project, but also for the times and season we are moving in. Thank You Lord for this song!
BEHIND THE SONG "TRUST IN THE LORD" AND "MISCARRIAGE (SPOKEN WORD)" :
Last year we went through a very difficult loss of a baby through miscarriage. We were in such great a Last year we went through a very difficult loss of a baby through miscarriage. We were in such great anticipation for this child because it was such a miracle that we became pregnant. We had lost a baby before and went through a long journey to have our beautiful daughter Shiloh. She is a major miracle, and so for us to get pregnant naturally without even trying was incredible! Needless to say the loss was hard. As we were in the emergency room going through the agony of emotional and physical pain, the Lord gave me Proverbs 3:5-6. "Trust In the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, in ll your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path".
This verse carried us through our time of grieving, as God continued to remind us to trust in Him and not lean on our own understanding. Through this I wanted to write a song from that verse, knowing it would encourage others through difficult and dark times. I also wanted to share a written/spoken piece about Miscarriage that I wrote soon after our loss.
I pray both of these will bring comfort to others, especially after loss, and that God's hope, love and comfort will shine through!
YOU DELIGHT IN ME
I asked the Lord to help me write a song of remembrance about what He had done in me at a retreat called Cleansing Streams. It was a powerful experience. My Grandmother had just passed away and right after her funeral I drove to the retreat because I knew God wanted me to be there. I showed up very late to the first night. I was there just before the last prayer time. I went to the designated person to pray for me and she asked me to say three simple words, I FORGIVE MYSELF. My lips could not utter those words no matter how hard I tried. Immediately she and others began praying over me until finally my mouth opened and I felt free to speak those words. I had not realized I was holding onto so much shame for my past sins! I knew the Lord had forgiven me but I could not forgive myself. The Lord had to help me be free from the guilt and shame I still carried from my past. The next day we were all worshiping and my friend told me to try and picture Jesus’ face as I sang. I had done that before but for some reason I could see His face like never before. He also gave me a vision of myself as a little girl twirling and dancing. He was watching me and laughing with delight. He showed me that He saw me as a child, innocent and clean through His blood. He did not see me covered with the mire of my sin, but washed and beautiful. He truly delighted in me and loved to see me dance and sing in the freedom only He could give me. This song has not only helped me remember His joy and delight in me; it has touched many others as well. I hope it will do the same for you.
Give Me Vision
All of us wonder why we are here? What we were created to be? A Wife, a Mom, a Teacher, a Pastor, a Worshiper, a Missionary, a Doctor…? The list goes on! This is a song that cries out to the Lord for those answers. It is a song that is sung when you are in a place of surrender. When you’ve stopped looking to your own ways and desires and you long for God’s ways and desires. We all face doubt, one time or another, especially when we don’t understand what’s happening in our lives. Psalm 119:105 says, “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path”. His word reveals His heart and the Holy Spirit opens our eyes of understanding. I did not think the Lord would bring me to this place of being able to write and record songs. I had given that up years ago! I was so happy worshipping Him that I didn’t need to run after my childhood dreams anymore! What I didn’t understand was that the Lord placed certain desires in my heart, but changed them to bring Him the Glory and Honor, instead of myself. He gave me a better dream and a true purpose! Ask Him to open your eyes to His heart and He will show you the way and give you the desire to do it! He will give you a new dream or the best version of the one you’ve always had.
Return was the title of an unwritten song that had been placed in my mind year’s prior. I would be led to scriptures that spoke of coming back to the Lord, turning, repenting, changing, returning. It is God’s cry for us! He longs for relationship with His children.
I personally went on a journey away from the Lord. Although I accepted Him as early as 3 years of age, it was a long road to surrendering my life to Him. I tried to be faithful in my own strength as a late teenager; I did the walk without the relationship. I relied on other’s to teach me and to pray, when I needed to talk to my savior myself! So, when my strength ran out, so did I. The world and the enemy swooped me away and I tried to find my value and happiness through the worlds ways. Hurt after hurt, failure after failure brought me to a place of knowing the Joy the world would bring was not the Joy I craved. I had a deep hole that was only widening. I always knew the Lord was there for me but I was ashamed. I chose other things instead of Him. I went back to church one evening and someone sang. My eyes were opened and I realized my deep need and desire for the Lord. The very things that hurt me the deepest were the things that lead me to a place of surrendering. I know I am safe in my heavenly Father’s arms. I know He is the only one that never will leave me or fail me. Over the years, He has helped heal my wounds through His Spirit and His Immeasurable love. He was waiting all along for me to Return to Him, so He could fill me with Joy that is not fleeting. My hope is that you would run to Jesus! He knows your pain and He gave His perfect life so you could know the truth of His perfect love for you! He did it all for you! He is always waiting to take you back into His safe, loving arms. Repentance is acknowledging your sin and turning away from it. To Return to the Lord only takes a moment, but will offer you an eternity!! Please come back, forgiveness is waiting!